Random thought

1.56 a.m

PART 1:

The idea of finishing degree almost scares me to the death. Would I able to get a job? I wonder & think a lot about this. Heyy, I have to repay PTPTN loan, so no matter what happen I need to find a job. The worst thing is I hesitate about pursuing in this field. I really hope I make the right choice. Did I?

PART 2:

Why some people stop writing? It’s kinda sad to know that your fav writer no longer write and you wait everyday whether you fav writer publish a new post. Time is different now. People no longer write about their feelings and rant randomly. Our social media is flooded with many beautiful girls and influencers promote their products. I still remember my other half told me that people only show the good side of their life. We’ll never know what kind of problem they face everyday or the struggle to be successful. It does remind me to be grateful in our live & learn to defeat the insecurities. I’m learning to love myself more and try to cope with my insecurities.

See you later. Ngantuk alr!

Patutnya aku start buat report tapi ke sini pula aku pergi.

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#1 Unknown

I don’t know

his favourite colour
or what colour are his eyes under the sun
or if he likes toast or rice for breakfast
or if he even wakes up for breakfast
his favourite songs to listen to when he’s upset
if he has a personal favourite spot to sit (because i like any seats by the window)
his favourite book that he reads over and over again till he can quote every single thing from it
if his hair is soft or rough against my hands
and what’s in his mind when he sits in his room alone

but i do know

his smiles are amazing it lights up the whole of my sky
and he has monolid but sometimes double eyelids
and he’s so tall he towers over me and that’s my favourite part about him
and he cares about his style a lot but to be honest, i like everything on him even if it’s just a shirt and pair of shorts

because i really wish

i knew all these things
so i know what to make for breakfast or in his case it’ll be lunch
and where to find him at a café
and how his favourite book sounds in his voice
and what to do if a lot of things are going on in his mind,
what to say

but i guess i’ll have to wait

because we are so far away from each other
waiting for our path to collide
waiting for the time to come
for me to finally be able to tell what colour are his eyes under the sun

s.a

Can we end bullying?

Aku harap sangat budak-budak dekat asrama/ sekolah aware dengan maksud buli & jenis-jenis buli. Kau sukahati mak bapak kau belasah/tampar anak orang. Parents hantar anak pergi asrama/sekolah untuk belajar bukan untuk diajar jadi pembuli atau kena buli. Lagi satu, term ‘it’s our tradition’ atau ‘tak nak bagi junior pijak kepala’. Jangan nak try ‘normalise’ benda yang memang salah. You really have no idea what is the bad effect of bullying on the victims. Kau nak bertanggungjawab ke apa yang victim itu rasa?

Aku harap the victim has the medium to speak out apa yang diaorang rasa. Take care, eat well. Sabar okay sayang? Use the right channel to report the bully. You’re loved and you don’t even deserve to be treated like that. My comment always open for those yang experience kena buli sejak dari sekolah. Bullying is still a taboo subject in our society. People need to know. I really hope the authority and school management do the right thing, take action. Please, please, please. Berapa banyak kejadian buli yang tak di-publish ke media dengan alasan nak jaga nama sekolah?  🙂 Do something peeps. 

Little notes:

buli 2buli 1

 

Jurnal : http://www.fp.utm.my/ePusatSumber/listseminar/5.IsuPendidikan05/Kertaspenuh/Kertas%2022.pdf

Jenis-jenis buli

buli 3

buli 4

buli 5

Additional reading:

https://iluminasi.com/bm/bekas-mangsa-buli-ini-ceritakan-pengalaman-dibuli-dan-usaha-yang-dilakukannya-untuk-membendung-perkara-ini.html

https://iluminasi.com/bm/budaya-buli-pukul-asrama.html

 

Nothing is here anymore

Everyday I’m struggling with myself and telling that I will be okay. Alhamdulillah, I look back at myself and my past and I could not be more thankful. Everything happens for a reason. I always try to find the good and bright side why such things happen to me because I can’t stay feeling bad 24/7. 

How  your life is going now? I hope you are doing well and do something that you love, passionate about. To be honest, I miss studying already. Call me dumb, a long time ago, I whined about getting out from assignment and wanted to finish my degree life quickly. Kids, enjoy your youth time and student life. You probably would miss your friends’ joke and their companion. I miss you all. I still remember I have unsent ‘kad raya’ for them. I really wanted to give at them, so that they will have a lil memory about me but end up tak bagi pun. I’ll write more, In ShaAllah. See you in the next post ❤

If anyone read this or stumble upon this blog (especially for those who know me in the real life) , please forgive all my sins and bad deeds to you. I wish I can undo the past and do the right thing. That seems impossible and all I can ask is your forgiveness.

It’s not too late

I guess it’s still not to late to say Happy New Year. I love the feeling when we’re about to enter particularly on new ‘big’ day such as New Year, celebrating Hari Raya or waiting the the month of Ramadan. It’s because we tend to have our own resolutions and new hopes. It’s such a nice feeling to hope for something good to happen and be a better version of ourselves. We are working on it kan? 🙂

I’m gonna leaving study life for good in a few days. Ya Allah, sekejap je rasa. I still remember doing the assignment till the dawn. Complaining how hard the study life was. Well, you have to manage your expenses and time wisely throughout your study year. I feel grateful to be surrounded with good people, the one who asks whether I’m okay, did I eat already or not and not to forget doing the quizzes together. I won’t forget. Please Allah don’t diminish the beautiful and thoughtful life lessons memories.

And a little notes to my little brother, you’ll be fine sayang. I hope you’ll learn new things, get mingle with people easily and be a good boy. I know it’s quite difficult to survive in your generation where you have to cope with the competition around you. I love you & the memories of you when you were being my ‘manja lil brother’ will stay remain in my mind. Take care of yourself. I’m gonna miss you lil bro.

See you in the next post 🙂